Dec 182013
 

Beyonce Ass 1

 

We should all bow down now that Beyonce has deigned to serve us a healthy helping of her (toned, tightened, and slightly CGI’ed) ass. Despite all of the delays in her album, Beyonce must have realized that 2013 was the Year of the Ass, and like all things Bey, she had to take what everyone else had done and make it her own, striking while the iron (ass) is hot.

So while the critics and Bey-lovers are going on about how this self-titled album is her best to date, I’ll go out on a limb and tell you that while the visuals are hot, the music is mostly mediocre. The best song on the visual album is “Yonce”, which is only 2 minutes long and unfortunately hasn’t made it to the audio version so far (just video).

But still, a nice ass should be appreciated, so enjoy!

beyonce ass 2

Aug 012013
 

For all of the ladies who have been complaining for the last 30+ years about how the USA is obsessed with boobs, this is your year! Put those itty bitty titties away and whip out that donk, because in 2013, it’s officially all about the ass. It don’t matter if your butt is little or big, tight or jiggly; if there’s any shape at all to it, we want to see it and obsess over it.

Fist off, we have Major Lazer giving us ass in a range of pudding consistencies, from smooth and creamy to rich and chunky.  With a side of hose-in-valley-girl-anus:

httpv://youtu.be/hR-NXv5Tma0

 

And then there’s Flo Rida, who clearly wanted giant donks, but didn’t want to deal with the chunky factor, so he just CGI’ed the hell out of them:

httpv://youtu.be/-WDcpwZqYlU

 

I could go on, but there’s only so many ass shots that one person can take at any given time. Although overall, I think we’re making progress. A nation of consumerism and excess can’t just be known for one body part. We are now showing the world that we can obsess over any and all overblown, plasticized body parts.